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Hyundai's Ioniq 6 N: Cool Car, Shame About the Rest of the World

Another Electric Savior? Please...

Okay, so Hyundai's dropping a new Ioniq 6 N. Supposedly, it's "the best N car yet." Right. Because every year, every new model is always "the best," according to the freakin' marketing department. Give me a break. I'm supposed to get excited about "faux internal-combustion mode"? Virtual gearshifts? External speakers blaring noise? Seriously?

It's like they're admitting electric cars are inherently boring. And hey, maybe they are.

This whole thing is a band-aid on a bullet wound. "Soul," they call it. I call it compensating.

And the styling... The article says the Ioniq 5 "looks like an eight-bit teddy bear" next to the 6 N. So what? Does looking "aggressive" magically make it a good car? Newsflash: it doesn't. It just makes it look like it's trying too hard. Like that guy at the gym who screams with every rep. Annoying.

The Devil's in the Details (and the Downforce)

Swan-neck spoiler? Adjustable carbon-fiber wing? 672 pounds of downforce at 160 mph? On a Hyundai? Are we talking about the same company that brought us the Excel? Suddenly, they're Porsche now?

They're bragging about new Pirelli tires that reduce "chunking and tread destruction" in drift mode. Drift mode? On an electric sedan? Who is actually using this car to drift? And more importantly, why? I'm picturing some dude in a business suit trying to powerslide out of his kid's soccer practice. Pathetic.

Then there's the "N Drift Optimizer" with 23 levels of adjustment. Twenty-three? Seriously? Who has the time or the inclination to tweak wheelspin and slip angle like some kind of digital Rain Man? Give me three settings: beginner, intermediate, and "I have no freakin' clue what I'm doing."

And "N Road Sense," which suggests N Mode if the car recognizes a double-curve sign? So, the car is telling me how to drive now? Is that where we're at? I swear, the machines are getting smarter and we are getting dumber.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the "three new battery modes—Sprint, Drag, and Endurance." Apparently, you need to pre-condition your battery pack for optimal performance based on your use case. Drag mode likes temps between 86 and 104 degrees. Sprint likes 68 to 86. Endurance likes 50 to 68. Choose wisely, because the system estimated a 23-minute cooldown between Sprint and Endurance mode. What does that even mean? Am I supposed to bring a freakin' thermometer to the track?

I mean, come on... who is this for?

The Murky Future (Surprise!)

The real kicker? The article admits the car's future in the U.S. is "murky." Because offcourse it is. "Limited availability" and a "premium product" price tag. Translation: expensive and nobody will buy it.

They blame "shaky global trade" and "lagging sales." I blame common sense. Who's going to drop $70k+ on a Hyundai, no matter how "N'd" it is?

And sales of the Ioniq 5 dropped 63 percent in October? 63 percent! That's not a sales drop; that's a freakin' freefall.

Then again, maybe I'm just being a grumpy old man. Maybe this car is amazing. Maybe it will revolutionize the automotive industry. Maybe pigs will fly.

But let's be real.

The article ends with a quote from Planes, Trains and Automobiles: "Beats walking, huh?" Yeah, well, so does a root canal.

A Cool Car Nobody Can Afford (or Get)

It's a great car that no one will be able to buy, and even if they can, they probably shouldn't. Another flashy distraction from the fact that electric cars are still too expensive, too limited, and too reliant on government subsidies that are about to disappear.